January arrives with snow, rules, and unnecessary confidence. As the neighbourhood descends into snowman drama, missing flamingos, and failed resolutions, Smudge starts the year exactly as she intends: indoors, observant, and in charge. Between shared takeaways, vigilante winter justice, and a short lived ban on human food after a sausage related incident, January quickly learns that rules are flexible, chicken is non‑negotiable, and resistance is always an option.
December arrives loudly in Smudge’s world, bringing sparkle, boxes, suspicious decorations, and a Golden Menace who cannot be trusted around Christmas at all. Between stolen turkey, festive supervision, and a Winter Wonderland trip that descends into chaos the moment she’s left behind, Smudge proves once again that order is seasonal and competence is not. Welcome back to Smudge’s Diaries, where Christmas is tolerated, food is monitored, and Santa’s list was never in doubt.
As November sets in, Smudge braces herself for fireworks, festive chaos, and a general decline in household standards. What she does not expect is calm behaviour from The Golden Menace, a growing obsession with wildlife documentaries, repeated escape attempts via the front door, and an unexpected lock out that forces her to briefly experience the outdoors against her will. Add in a birthday Sunday that leaves her in charge of two excitable dogs, a stair gate that fails spectacularly, and the unexplained disappearance of roast chicken, and November quickly becomes a month that demands vigilance. Expect suspicion, supervision, neighbour observations, and firm opinions on doors, Sundays, and why treats should always be paid. Welcome back to Smudge’s Diaries, where quiet is never trusted and judgement never takes a day off.
As autumn rolls in, Smudge prepares for a quiet, dignified October. Instead, she is met with candles, costumes, constant knocking, and a Golden Retriever puppy who somehow becomes worse after two weeks of intense training. From the brief return of peace when The Golden Menace is removed, to the total annihilation of toys, a deeply regrettable platter incident, and the humiliation of being dressed as a bat, nothing goes to plan. Expect crunchy leaves, rope leads, biscuit breath, and firm opinions on pumpkins indoors, scary films, and where one should and should not poop. Welcome back to Smudge’s Diaries, where autumn may be cosy, but judgement remains razor sharp.
Ever wondered what it’s like to maintain order when unwanted guests keep turning up and alliances begin forming without your consent? This September, Smudge, a 15‑year‑old feline authority with proven field experience, documents the arrival of the Curly Intruder, the rise of a troubling dog alliance, and the delivery of a house gift that was wildly misunderstood. From slipper sabotage and sock scandals to neighbour gossip and deeply suspicious Sunday walks, nothing escapes her watchful eye. Expect judgement, surveillance, and evidence that even in a crowded house, competence still matters. Welcome to Smudge’s Diaries, where calm is conditional and some cats still bring home the bacon.
Ever wondered what it’s like to survive summer with a golden tornado disguised as a Golden Retriever puppy? This August, Smudge, a 15-year-old feline queen with zero tolerance for nonsense, documents beaches, bubbles, vet visits, and the continued betrayal of humans who should know better. From sunflower crimes to biscuit injustices, nothing escapes her notice. Expect sass, side eye, and firm opinions on peak condition, wild horses, and who truly owns the house. Welcome to Smudge’s Diaries, where summer belongs to dogs, but judgement belongs to cats.
